“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: ‘It might have been.” John Greenleaf Whittier, “Maud Muller,” 1856
Fertility, Family, and the Holidays.
COVID has made us more reflective.
We are distanced from others and isolated at home. Even more, the changing nature of work has us question our connections and identity. The more we shelter in place, the more we can’t help but think about our personal home life and our place in the world. Even when we go out, with safety in mind, those experiences are often echoes of their former selves. The world has changed.
Or has it?
We are each part of an unbroken chain of life that has lasted almost four billion years. For all the world’s chaos, there is something with each miraculous birth where hope springs eternally. Even if we never have full control over this crazy world, starting small with your family/home is a step towards managing.
However, what if you can’t get that control in starting a family? What if every time you and your partner take that step for having a family, it just won’t happen? You feel in “Limbo,” “purgatory,” “an unending holding pattern,” and other descriptions for that two weeks wait time which is the time between ovulation and possible fertilization of the egg to the expected period where you can take a pregnancy test — that takes an enormous toll on a couple. This span of time can be difficult to endure.
Some relationships are destroyed when the process of growing your family does not seem to be working. Moreover, friends and family often make this stressful situation worse. Advice on fertility from those whose qualifications are that they failed contraception doesn’t always ring true. Advice to “try harder” when one is doing all one can create more stress without helping.
One of the ironies is that despite good intentions, non-medical advice is typically useless for improving fertility because it:
– won’t increase sperm counts;
– won’t make eggs chromosomally normal;
– can’t open block tubes;
– nor cause fibroids to resolve;
Or otherwise, fix underlying medical conditions that may be contributing to delay in conceiving.
One of the best ways to help in reducing the stress in your fertility journey is to have a plan and practical support that you can count on. But keep in mind, if your approach sounds more like:
- I will be pregnant by this time next year
- My testing completed in January
- Get low cost, low tech measures for a few months
- Then if that doesn’t work, I’ll go all out
This fertility checklist is a plan that often leads to frustration, stress, and additional angst that is not necessary.
While this structured approach provides comfort to some, it is not the same as having experts who help women and families grow every day. Fertility experts can make a world of difference in helping you understand the journey and provide a medically based plan to maximize your odds of starting a family. We believe that this is a Fertility and Family plan that is truly a gift for the holidays.
Our mission has always been to take couples from “Might Have Been” to “Mom to Be.”
If you are wanting to build your family, we would love to help you. From simple explanations to high tech solutions, or a simply a fresh perspective if what you’ve been doing on your own or with a doctor hasn’t worked, come see us in our Monroe, Shreveport, Madison, Starkville, or Hattiesburg MS offices.
Call us at 833-767-7837 and let’s help you have the child of your dreams!
J. Preston “Pres” Parry, MD, MPH