Trouble Conceiving: Why Can’t I Get Pregnant

Navigating your pregnancy roadmap

Trouble getting pregnant can occur due to a number of factors, including those unrelated to proper function of a couple’s reproductive systems, such as frequency of intercourse, overall health, age and lifestyle of both partners. Couples can maximize their chances of getting pregnant prior to trying medical infertility treatments by having intercourse every three days around ovulation (and more often actually doesn’t hurt, but also doesn’t seem to necessarily help according to research). They can also make lifestyle changes affecting weight and overall health. Couples also need to consider the risks after becoming pregnant for both the mother and the developing baby.

Understanding sex & conception

Trying to conceive shouldn’t be left entirely to luck. A good understanding of the male and female reproductive systems, particularly the female menstrual cycle, can make all the difference in a couple’s success conceiving. In order to conceive, the woman’s ovaries must release an egg to be fertilized by the man’s sperm, which must be present at the proper time. An egg is fertilized in one of the fallopian tubes, then the resulting embryo travels to implant in the uterine lining where it develops into a fetus during pregnancy. Eggs are released by the ovaries once each menstrual cycle; this is known as ovulation. Menstrual cycle lengths vary but generally range from 21-35 days and most are roughly every 28-30 days. Ovulation typically occurs two weeks before the start of the woman’s next period but cycles vary and are hard to predict. After leaving the ovary the female egg is only viable for 12-24 hours, while the male sperm is viable for up to five days.

The Fertile Window: Calculating the right time to have sex

In theory, it’s ideal to have unprotected sex on the day of, or up to two days prior to, ovulation in what is known as the “fertile window,” though pregnancies can occur with a single act of intercourse up to five days prior to ovulation. Natural fertility can be optimal during certain days during the menstrual cycle. For most people, the fertile window is the five days leading up to ovulation, the day of ovulation and the day after ovulation. But despite the popularity of ovulation tracking, it can be difficult to track exactly, and there is little proof that ovulation monitoring itself increases the chance of conceiving. There are a number of ways to monitor ovulation How does Smoking and recreational drug use impact infertility in men and women?

  • Urine analysis kits that measure the level of luteinizing hormone (LH predictor kits). The Ovulation home test detects a rise in luteinizing hormone (LH) in the urine. A rise in this hormone signals the ovary to release the egg. This at-home test is often used by women to help predict when an egg release is likely. This is when pregnancy is most likely to occur
  • Smartphone apps that calculate approximate ovulation dates as a woman would on a calendar. Understanding your own biology can be particularly helpful if you’re trying to conceive. And today, technology can make tracking your cycle and fertility so much easier. Here is a link to some of the best fertility tracker apps.
  • Tracking changes in cervical mucus: The cervical mucus method is a type of natural family planning. Also called the Billings Ovulation Method , the cervical mucus method is based on careful observation of mucus patterns during your menstrual cycle.Before ovulation, cervical secretions change — creating an environment that helps sperm travel through the cervix, uterus and fallopian tubes to the egg. By recognizing changes in your cervical mucus, you can try to pinpoint when you’re likely to ovulate — and when you’re most likely to conceive.If you’re hoping to get pregnant, you can use the cervical mucus method to determine the best days to have sex.
  • Measuring basal body temperature for natural family planning that may rise after ovulation (but this will only indicate ovulation after it has already occurred). Ovulation may cause a slight increase in basal body temperature.You’ll be most fertile during the two to three days before your temperature rises. By tracking your basal body temperature each day, you may be able to predict when you’ll ovulate.
  • Irregular menses, which are not uncommon for women, or a lack of menses should be evaluated medically.

Breaking the Myths: Understanding the Role of Timing and Frequency of Sex in Pregnancy

When it comes to intercourse and reproductive health with the intent to become pregnant, the two big questions are how often to have sexual intercourse and how should it be done?

Question 1: How often should you have sex to increase your odds of getting pregnant?

There is a myth on the internet that one should have sex as many times as possible in order to conceive. However, a New England Journal of Medicine study showed that if women had sex once two days prior to ovulation, one day prior and on the day of ovulation, there was no difference in the pregnancy rates. The same article showed no difference between 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 acts of intercourse in that window for the chance of becoming pregnant and in fact could decrease sperm count.

sex timing egg intercourseIn order for conception to take place, at least one healthy and vigorous sperm must be waiting in the fallopian tube at the moment ovulation occurs and must be able to fertilize the egg within 12-24 hours of the egg being released from the ovary. Since sperm can only live for a maximum of 5 days in the female reproductive tract, couples trying to conceive should plan to have intercourse a number of times in the days just prior to ovulation.

For this reason, if a couple is trying on their own, having sex every 72 hours (roughly) around the time of ovulation should maximize their chances without needing LH predictor kits, basal body temperature charting, etc. However, all of this assumes that the male partner has sperm, the woman has eggs, that they can meet in the fallopian tubes, and that the uterus is healthy for sustaining a pregnancy.

Question 2. Are there ideal sexual positions that increase the likelihood of becoming pregnant?

There are a number of rumors and myths about conception but there is little evidence that doing such things as trying certain sexual positions or maintaining a prone position for a period of time after intercourse will improve the likelihood of becoming pregnant. Even though a woman’s climax might help transport sperm, there is no proof that a climax (orgasm) can improve the chances of pregnancy.

While various rumors and myths suggest certain sexual positions or remaining in a prone position after intercourse can enhance conception, scientific evidence to support these claims is scarce. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) confirms that no specific sexual positions have been proven to increase the likelihood of pregnancy.

While it’s believed that a woman’s climax may assist in sperm transport, according to a review in the journal Sexual Medicine Reviews, there is no definitive evidence that orgasm directly improves chances of conception.

The Frequency of Sex for Optimal Pregnancy Chances

The American Pregnancy Association explains that the optimal timing (the fertile window) for pregnancy involves a three-day window, based on the woman’s ovulation date and the knowledge that sperm can survive within her body for 3-5 days. Therefore, it is recommended to have intercourse once a day on the following days:

  • Two days before ovulation
  • One day before ovulation
  • On the day of ovulation

Engaging in intercourse more than once daily doesn’t enhance the chances of conception and may, in fact, diminish the male’s sperm count.

Hence, for couples attempting to conceive naturally, engaging in sexual intercourse approximately 72 hours before and during ovulation should optimize their chances of conception, without the necessity for LH predictor kits, basal body temperature charting, and so forth.

It’s important to note that these findings are based on the assumptions that the male partner produces sperm, the female partner produces eggs, the sperm and eggs can meet in the fallopian tubes, and the uterus is healthy and capable of sustaining a pregnancy.

Some lubricants can negatively impact sperm

Couples should be aware that some lubricants can negatively impact sperm survival and movement. Despite prevalent myths, lubricants like K-Y Jelly and certain types of Astroglide can inhibit sperm functionality, as many have spermicidal properties. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine recommends that if lubricant use is necessary or preferred, options like mineral or canola oils or hydroxyethylcellulose-based lubricants should be considered, as they do not harm sperm in the same way.

Using lubricant is a great idea for most sexual activity, but for couples trying to conceive (TTC), it can be especially useful. Being TTC often means reducing sex to a routine experience on a regular schedule. This can bring down the usual mood, resulting in vaginal dryness. In the last few years, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has started marking certain lubricants as “fertility-safe” or “sperm-safe,” Not all lube is created equal! If you’re trying to conceive, many classic brands and types of lube contain ingredients that can damage sperm. The type of lubricant you use can make a big difference when it comes to getting pregnant.

What Is Timed Intercourse?

Timed intercourse is a natural and cost-effective method that aims to increase the chances of conception by coordinating sexual activity with a woman’s ovulation cycle. Identifying the fertile window — the period when the ovary releases an egg — allows couples to plan intercourse to increase the likelihood of successful fertilization.

The fertility cycle, also known as the menstrual cycle, plays a crucial role in timed intercourse. A typical cycle lasts about 28 days, although it can vary between individuals. Ovulation, which usually happens in the middle of the cycle, around day 14, is the process when an egg is released from the ovary and becomes ready for fertilization.

Ovulation is key for timed intercourse. It’s the process by which an egg is released from the ovary, becoming ready for fertilization within about 12 to 24 hours. Timing intercourse within this timeframe increases the chances of successful fertilization.

Calculating Your Monthly Fertility Window

The fertile window typically includes the five days leading up to and including the day of ovulation. Sperm can survive in the woman’s reproductive tract for up to five days, while the egg only survives about 12-24 hours after ovulation. Intercourse during this window can significantly increase the chance of conception.

Tracking Ovulation for Timed Intercourse

Several methods exist to track ovulation, such as monitoring basal body temperature, checking cervical mucus, and using ovulation prediction kits or digital fertility monitors. These methods help predict ovulation and guide the timing of intercourse.

Timed intercourse is a natural method that doesn’t require medical intervention. Being cost-effective and conductible in the privacy of your own home, it also gives couples a sense of control over their fertility journey.

Timed intercourse, while a helpful tool, does have limitations. It requires a regular menstrual cycle to predict ovulation accurately. For women with irregular cycles, predicting ovulation can be challenging. Timed intercourse doesn’t address potential male fertility issues or other physical factors that could impede conception either.

When to Have Sex After the Trigger Shot?

The trigger shot, typically a dose of Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG) or a Gonadotropin-Releasing Hormone agonist (GnRH), is a common part of fertility treatments. It’s administered to trigger ovulation, typically about 36 hours after the shot is given. This process is designed to precisely time ovulation, which aids in coordinating timed intercourse or intrauterine insemination (IUI) with the moment of ovulation.

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine recommends timed intercourse to occur within 24 to 36 hours after the trigger shot. This timing ensures that sperm can meet the egg in the fallopian tube when it’s most receptive to fertilization. It’s generally advised to have sex the day of the trigger shot and then again the following day.

Emotional Aspects of Timed Intercourse

Although timed intercourse can potentially introduce stress into a couple’s relationship due to the pressure of timing and achieving pregnancy, maintaining open communication with your partner is essential. According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, infertility (and by extension, the pressure of timed intercourse) can lead to significant stress and anxiety. They emphasize the importance of acknowledging these emotional challenges and considering psychological support in navigating these difficulties.

Psychology Today, notes how fertility challenges can contribute to feelings of frustration, guilt, and depression. They stress the importance of self-care and the need for open dialogue with your partner, family, and friends during this journey. Support from mental health professionals, support groups, or counseling services is often beneficial.

Each person’s fertility journey is unique and can evoke a range of emotional responses. It’s important to note that these feelings are completely normal, and seeking help when needed is a sign of strength. Always consult with healthcare professionals for personalized advice and support.

Remember, when considering timed intercourse or any other fertility approach, professional medical advice is always best. For any concerns, we are here to help.

How does Personal lifestyle practices impact fertility?

A healthy, well-balanced diet is beneficial for both men and women. There is little evidence that particular diets like vegetarian, low-fat, vitamin enriched diets, or herbal remedies improve fertility in the general population. For women with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), a low carbohydrate diet can improve symptoms and fertility. Alcohol and large amounts of caffeine are best avoided when trying to conceive, as they can have a negative impact on fertility. Alcohol’s effect on female fertility is uncertain, but it is associated with birth defects, and there is an association between high levels of caffeine (four or more cups of coffee daily) and an increased risk of miscarriage. Women attempting to conceive are also encouraged to add a folic acid supplement to their diet to reduce the risk of certain birth defects.

Can exercise increase the odds of getting pregnant?

Moderate exercise can help increase the chances of conceiving, and can also effectively reduce stress, which has been shown to interfere with ovulation. However, too much strenuous exercise can impact ovulation. It’s important for each person to check with a physician to determine the appropriate amount and intensity of activity.

Does Weight Affect Fertility?

Underweight, overweight and obese women can experience decreased fertility, often due to changes in ovulation associated with weight. Diet and exercise can help moderate the effects of weight on fertility in both women and men, whose sperm count and quality are influenced by weight.

How does Smoking and recreational drug use impact infertility in men and women?

Both partners should quit smoking tobacco products, which have a proven negative impact on fertility for both men and women. Use of other recreational drugs is also highly discouraged due to the studied prevalence of birth defects. According to, “chemicals (such as nicotine, cyanide, and carbon monoxide) in cigarette smoke speed up the loss rate of eggs. Unfortunately, once eggs die off, they cannot regenerate or be replaced. This means that menopause occurs 1 to 4 years earlier in women who smoke (compared with non-smokers).” Male smokers can suffer decreased sperm quality with lower counts (numbers of sperm) and motility (sperm’s ability to move) and increased numbers of abnormally shaped sperm. Smoking might also decrease the sperm’s ability to fertilize eggs. Before attempting to conceive, it can be useful to discuss any medications currently being taken with a doctor. Couples should also make sure that all immunizations are up to date.

After conception, what complicates a successful pregnancy?

Conception marks the first step toward pregnancy—the sperm and egg have joined together, creating what is known as a zygote . In the coming days, the single-cell zygote transforms into a multi-celled embryo. In the coming days, the single-cell zygote transforms into a multi-celled embryo. In order to facilitate pregnancy, an embryo must successfully move from the fallopian tubes and implant in the uterus, where it will continue to develop into a fetus and eventually an infant. After a woman reaches the first goal of conceiving, there are still a number of possible complications that can occur. To reach the next goal of a healthy pregnancy, it’s good for women to know the signs and symptoms of pregnancy complications so they can be prepared and know when to seek help from a doctor.

  • Anemia – A condition where the number of healthy blood cells is below normal, causing the person to feel tired, weak or faint. Many people have anemia, and it can also occur during pregnancy. It can be treated by taking iron and folic acid.
  • Depression – Depression can be experienced by women prior to, during or after pregnancy. Marked by feelings of intense sadness, irritability, changes in appetite and thoughts of harming oneself or the baby, depression can be treated through therapy, support groups and with medication. How often should you have sex to increase your odds of getting pregnant?
  • Ectopic pregnancy – The fertilized egg needs to implant within the lining of the uterus for a healthy pregnancy. However, an ectopic pregnancy occurs when the fertilized egg (embryo) implants elsewhere, usually in the fallopian tube. The embryo cannot develop properly outside of the uterus and poses a great risk to the health of the mother (including putting her at risk for death). Severe abdominal pain, shoulder pain and vaginal bleeding are symptoms. An ectopic pregnancy must be ended due to the severe risks to the mother.
  • Gestational diabetes – Some women experience extremely high blood-sugar levels during their pregnancy, known as gestational diabetes. Pregnancy-related diabetes can usually be controlled with a meal plan, while some women require insulin. Gestational diabetes can increase the risk of preeclampsia and early delivery.
  • Preeclampsia – This condition that causes high blood pressure during pregnancy. High blood pressure, swelling of hands and face, stomach pain, dizziness and headaches are all symptoms. Medicine may be administered to prevent the mother from having seizures, but the best solution for preeclampsia is delivery.
  • Hypermesis gravidarum – Hypermesis gravidarum (HG) is best described as an extreme form of morning sickness that can cause severe dehydration, fainting and fatigue. HG can cause such severe and frequent vomiting that the woman must be hospitalized.
  • Miscarriage – An estimated 10-20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage, which is defined as a loss before 20 weeks. In most cases miscarriage occurs naturally and cannot be prevented. Vaginal spotting or bleeding is not uncommon during a health pregnancy but can also be a symptom of miscarriage.
  • Infections – Viral infections such as the flu, or bacterial infections such as a urinary tract infection can be harmful to pregnancy and to a developing baby. Hand washing, safe sex, avoiding certain foods and cooking approved foods thoroughly can help prevent illness. It’s helpful to discuss diet and food restrictions with your doctor. Prior to becoming pregnant it is important to get tested for sexually transmitted infections, as they can cause preterm labor, stillbirth and low birth weight.

Next steps: Consult Positive Steps Fertility about getting pregnant

If you have struggled to conceive, and wonder if you have fertility problems, it may be time to seek out medical advice. Fertility experts recommend seeking a specialist after a year of unprotected intercourse without pregnancy (six months for women 35 and older). Twelve months of uncertainty is difficult, so frustration and personal distress before a year can also be reasons to schedule a fertility consultation. At Positive Steps Fertility, we treat you like family as we help you build yours. Call us or contact us online to get the help you need.

For an appointment, contact us online or call 855-794-3080